


home

by offensiveandgay



Category: Camp Camp
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Maxvid - Freeform, Teen AU, eredxdolph, nerrisxnikki, spacekidxneil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-12-25 22:45:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12045864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/offensiveandgay/pseuds/offensiveandgay
Summary: Camp Campbell is closing down.The campers decide to come back for its final summer.





	1. Chapter 1

I sat on the steps of the shitty apartment complex where me and my parents lived. When I was ten, I expected that i'd be long gone from this place the moment I could drive. Sadly, life was a lot more complicated that my younger self had imagined. But I did get something else relatively right. Camp Campbell would always be the same. It's air would always be painfully fresh, David would always be painfully optimistic, and I would never be there if I didn't have to be. There were only two flaws in this seemingly perfect prediction from my past. 

1\. Camp Campbell was closing down.

2\. I was going back by choice. 

I impatiently tapped my foot. I wasn't usually one for fidgeting, but this was anything but usual. This was most certainly odd. 

A small black GTI pulled up in front of me, letting me focus on something other than how uncomfortable I was. 

I took a deep breath in, and approached it. The windows were heavily tinted and there were multiple stickers on its back. Exactly what I'd expect him to drive. After throwing a backpack into the trunk, I went around to the passenger's side, and climbed in.

"Max!" Neil chimed, his face lighting up. "I haven't seen you in ages! How've you been, buddy?"

"It's been fucking hell, like usual. I shouldn't even be going back to this shitty camp." I crossed my arms instinctively.

"You're such a downer, Max. It's the last time you'll ever get to be there and you're still like this? I thought time might've changed you." He started to drive.

I took in the ways that time had changed Neil. His hair was still a mess, and his nose was still pinker than the rest of his face. But he looked older. His features were more defined and he had a jawline of sorts. The last time I had seen Neil he only ever wore turtle necks, but now he was sporting sweater vests and glasses. "Time sucks at its job. You've changed a fuck ton, though. When'd you get glasses?"

"9th grade. I guess staring at computer screens is bad for your eyes? I don't believe it. Probably a government scam."

"So you're a skeptic, and a nerd? The whole fucking package." I scoffed.

"Well, you're a bitch and a stoner, so."

"Stoner?" 

"Don't think I can't smell the weed, Max."

"I'm going to go ahead and add druggie to your list of traits. It takes one to know one." I chuckled.

"It's good for your head, man!"

"Oh god, you sound like one too!"

"It is, you ass!" Neil took his hand from the wheel and punched my shoulder. The laughter died down and was replaced by silence. "At least now you laugh more."

I looked out my window at the passing scenery. Way to call me out. "And you said I was a downer, jesus fucking christ." 

"I made a mixtape for this summer. I'm not a downer, I'm sentimental."

"God, you're so gay." I laughed.

"Bi, actually."

"Scholar, stoner, and attracted to both sexes."

"Yup. I've never had a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend, for that matter. But I did have a crush on Space Kid."

My eyes widened, and my gaze snapped to Neil. "You fucking what?!"

"Yeah!" He laughed, shaking his head and turning on his blinker. "I don't know why, it was just, his name was Neil. My name was Neil,"

"Was Neil? Are you not currently Neil?" I interrupted.

"Shut up, I meant is. His name is Neil, my name is Neil. He likes space. I like aliens. It just made sense, I guess." 

"That's golden."

"Save it, we're here."

Although I was stunned at how quick my old friend made the trip seem, I was overcome by nostalgia. The moment I opened the car's door I was home again. Home is a bit of an exaggeration. 

"God, was it always this bright?" Neil squinted, trying to get our bags out of the trunk. 

I grabbed my backpack, helping Neil with his luggage. We walked towards the campground in silence. If we spoke even a word, the tension would thicken to the point of suffocation. The air was humid, bringing me back to sweaty nights in my tent, dreading the next day's activities. I would never admit to it, but I felt guilty. Maybe if I had appreciated the camp when it was still in business it wouldn't be suffering the fate it was now. God, I'm always guilt tripping myself. I'm just as bad as my parents. 

"Neil! Max!" 

I tucked away those ideas, and looked up. The one person I hadn't expected to see was before me.

"David, holy shit!" Neil was engulfed in a hug from our old counselor.

"You still work here? Wow, you must be so satisfied with your life." I rolled my eyes. 

"Max!" He shouted again, wrapping his arms around me and squeezed tightly. "Oh my gosh, it's just so amazing to see you two again!" He let go, his arms going to his his hips. I can't believe I'm taller than him. He had always seemed so tall, but maybe it's because I was ten. 

David hadn't changed as much as me and Neil had. His hair was still it's normal redish brown, but was now cut a little shorter. The uniform was the same, and fit like it used too. Unlike the camp, David wasn't drastically different. "Follow me! It's so wonderful that you've all joined us for one last summer! It may be a little uncomfortable considering we still have a few properly aged campers with us, but still fun!" 

Neil was unaffected. He smiled and walked behind David as if this wasn't unusual. I couldn't follow suit. I was visibly tense. I shoved my hands into my jean pockets and walked with them, trying to ignore the uncomfortable circumstance I put himself in. I couldn't put my finger on why I felt so out of place in the one place where I felt normal. Or at least used to. David led us to the mess hall where all of our old friends were sat at the small tables, asking about highschool and what colleges they were looking into. There were a group of seven or so campers in the corner table, bonding simply because they were the youngest there. 

"Scheme Team!"  
Neil and I turned around to locate the high pitched shout.  
Nikki dropped her yellow duffel bag and hugged them both, getting her tears on our chests. Wow. Maybe I should be more emotional than I am.

"Um, Nikki? Mind not using us as human tissues?" Neil managed to speak even though his lungs were being crushed by the 5'4 agent of chaos.

Nikki released us, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. She smiled wide, revealing her pink-banded braces. "I've missed you assholes!" Unlike Neil, she had changed a lot since they'd last been in contact. Her green ponytails were chopped off, leaving her with chin length curls. And if the braces weren't enough change in her face, it felt as if her already large eyes got bigger, and her nose got pointier. She was wearing blue overall shorts with a red and yellow striped shirt, which showed off the fact that she wasn't ten anymore. "Woah, Max! Your hair is huge!"

I scratched my neck awkwardly. "Yeah. Haircuts are expensive, and if you do them yourself you look like a goddamn poodle."

She got on her toes and patted the fluffy locks with a laugh. She planted her feet on the ground again. "And Neil! You look like a nerd!"

He looked taken back. "I need these to see, they're not a part of my nerd aesthetic!"

"Is the sweater vest a part of your 'nerd diabetic'?" 

He looked at his shoes. "Yes.."

I doubled over in laughter. "You.. You're a fucking.." I spoke between bursts of chuckles. "Nerd diabetic!"

We all laughed. It felt like it used to feel, almost exactly. But it wasn't how it used to be and that's what scared me. My laughter died down but the others continued. I gulped, hoping that I could swallow my discomfort and ignore them until late at night. At midnight, I could cry like I used to. I wondered if they'd get the same tents that we had when we were kids. Then I could really cry like I used to. Same bed, same truama, new scars. 

"Nikki! It's so great to see you!" David gave her a quick hug. "Wow, look how you've all grown!" 

I noticed how he still had those red elbows and knees. How often was he on his elbows and knees? They were always so.. colored. How often was he on his knees. I was shocked at my own thoughts. After all these years my crush on David hadn't died down at all. If anything, it grew. I kind of understood why. David was attractive. 

"Max?" David asked.

Snapped out of my thoughts, I locked eyes with him. "Hm?"

"I asked how highschool was going?"

"I'm a senior, David. It's shit. You went at one point, right?" 

"Of course! Highschool was amazing!"

"Of fucking course it was."

"What do you mean?" He tilted his head at him. 

"You think everything is amazing, you optimistic fuck."

"First off, language, Max. We do have young ears around! Second, it was! I met Gwen through highschool! We were lab partners in eleventh grade. I'm sure highschool hasn't been too bad?"

There he goes again with that fucking attitude. That happy-go-lucky act. Pisses me off beyond belief, I swear. "I don't exactly have a lot of friends, David."

His face fell. "Max,"

"That's fucking depressing." Neil laughed, inturupting David.

"Aw, Max! We're your only friends!" Nikki punched my shoulder. Yeah laugh it up. Ive gone through highschool a loner and it's such a fucking joke. 

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh at my social isolation." I joked at my own expense. 

"Max, do you not have any friends?" David was genuinely concerned.

"God, David, it doesn't matter I'm graduating this year."

"Still, everyone deserves a friend!"

"I do have friends, they're right fucking here." I pointed to my right where Nikki and Neil stood. "We're going to go catch up with everyone."

Neil and Nikki waved goodbye to David and started making their way to our old campers.

"I'll see you guys later." I could hear how he was still upset about me being socially inept. 

"It's nice to see you, David." I said in a voice low enough for only us to hear. I could see that stupid smile find its way to his face again. I sat down with Nikki and Neal, who had started talking to Nerris and Harrison. Nerris didn't have her braces anymore but still had her almost entirely shaved head. She was wearing some fucking dungeons and dragons shirt or something, and had a lot of ear peircings. Harrison lost the top hat, and got a hair cut. He grew into his looks and was still dorky and awkward, but now it's in a more cute than weird way. Nerris had just been accepted into an animation college or something and Harrison was planning on doing magic on the streets of vegas when he gets out of highschool.

"That's so cool!" Nikki exclaimed, her eyes shining as she looked at Nerris. 

"Well, it hurts a lot in the beginning but now i can eat caramel and stuff." She smiled back, staring at Nikki the way you'd see in movies. 

"Wait, you can't eat caramel with braces?" 

"No."

"Oh shit." 

I tuned out. It's barely been an hour and I've learned that Neil is half gay, Nikki and Nerris are going to fuck before camp ends, and that my childhood crush has not left. I'm pretty sure it's actually fucking grown, which is just perfect. I can't wait for this to end. That brings back memories. Hating this fucking camp and wanting to die every second i was here. I brushed my fingers over familiar stab marks in the wooden tables. If I'm this sappy all summer, I think I'd rather be dead. If only I were so lucky. 

 

••••

 

I unzipped the tent and looked inside. "These were a lot bigger when we were ten."

"Holy shit, I feel like a giant!" Nikki screamed, jumping onto her bunk.

"Why are we allowed to share a tent now?" Neil asked, brushing dust off of the bed he used to sleep on. It looked like no had been there since. 

"Beats me. I guess they trust us as 'adults'," I made air quotations, "to not fuck on camp grounds." 

"That's so stupid! If anything they shouldn't trust us now and should have trusted us as kids!" 

"Raise your hand if you want to fuck someone in this tent on camp grounds."

No one raised their hand. 

"See! David knows that and he trusts us. Which was a stupid move, but hey. We're all stupid. That's why we like this place."

"Fair enough." I sat on the stiff bed, rummaging through my bag. I took our Mr. Honey Nuts and placed him next to the pillow.

"You still have him?" Nikki asked. 

"Of course." I scoffed. Did they expect me to get rid of him or something?

"I still have one of the Neil bots. I saved one just in case." Neil admitted.

"In case of what?" I took a t-shirt out of my backpack. 

"I don't know. Just, in case." 

Nikki shrugged. "Fair enough." 

I grabbed the bottom of my black shirt and yanked it over my head. I set it down on the bed, and grabbed the shirt I picked out. 

"Woah, Max, when did you get buff?" Neil pointed to my stomach.

"Yeah, I thought you'd be a skeleton forever!" Nikki chimed in. 

"I needed an excuse to get out of the house so I decided to go running and to the gym and shit. It takes my mind off of things." I slipped the sleep shirt over my head. "And I'm not even fucking 'buff', because first off, who says that?"

Neil shrugged.

"Second, I'm still tall and lanky, just with abs."

"Abs of steal!" Nikki pumped her fist into the air and began looking in her duffel bag. 

"What do you guys think we'll do tomorrow?" Neil asked, getting into his change of clothes too. He was a very small guy. When he lifted his arms you could see his ribs, which wasn't bad, just concerning. I've dealt with EDs before and I don't want Neil to deal with that shit. Maybe he's naturally thin. He was always tiny and frail, maybe it's genetic. His dad looks it too.

"Something stupid, obviously." I took off my jeans and put my bag under the bed. 

"Maybe we'll go on an adventure!" Nikki took off her overalls, revealing bright green boxers with little fish sewn in. An odd choice, but i'd expect nothing less from her. "Ya know, like the good ole, days!" She took off her shirt, answering my ten year old self's question. Nikki's mom did not get plastic surgery, it was natural. Not that I'd shame her for getting surgery, I'd want huge tits too, but I've always wondered. 

I soaked in this moment. Niki was in a "women want me, fish fear me" shirt, Neil had on a yellow tank top and striped sweat-pants, and I wore a bright pink "I <3 boobies" top and black boxers. We were quite the bunch. Fuck, that was cheesy, delete. "I doubt it. We'll probably swim in the lake or something."

"How uncomfortable do you think those kids are, with all us high schoolers?"

"I think they're okay with it. Ered always was." 

"She was 14 and we were 10. Now we're 18 and they're 10. It's a bit different."

"Goodnight guys." Neil turned off the flame in the lamp, forcing us to sleep.

"Fuck off nerd diabetic." 

I heard Nikki snort from her bunk and it made me smile. I feel lucky. But all this good mojo is just going to disappear once we drive home. 

Fuck you, Camp Campbell, you give me the last thing I need. 

You give me hope.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't have wifi )thanks irma( at home so i'm using school wifi sorry for late updates

My eyes snap open. This is the first time in almost nine years that i've woken up to the sound of Neil and Nikki arguing. I didn't miss it at all.  
"Shut up!" I took the pillow from under me and put it on my face. Maybe this would cut off all my oxygen and kill me. If only I were so lucky.  
I felt one of them jump onto my bed. I took it off of my face and glared at Nikki.

"Good morning Max!" She smiled. 

"Fuck off." I chucked the pillow at her. 

She fell off the edge of my bed and onto the floor. 

Oh shit, too much force. I crawled to the edge of the bed only to see her on the floor giggling in the fetal position. 

"David wants us to go to the mess hall for breakfast." Neil announced as if we didn't already know. Unlike yesterday's more formal attire, today he wore a t-shirt and jeans. How big was Neil? I know he has some big hands but I think it's the feet that determine size, not hands. Why am I so perverse, holy shit. Even my entirely platonic friends are victim to my thoughts. I blame child abuse for my hyper sexuality. 

"Whatever. We can go whenever we want, Neil, we're not ten anymore." 

"Yeah! Fight the system! To hell with the man!" Nikki punched the air, still lying on the ground.

"Guys," Neil started making his way out of the tent.

"A square then, a square now. You're such a pussy." I taunted, pulling on jeans. 

"Pusillanimous." Neil corrected from outside.

"Excuse me?" I continued to get dressed.

"The word you're looking for is pusillanimous."

"Nope, I meant pussy." I stepped outside to see him rubbing his temples. Nikki ran out behind me. 

"You're both so illiterate."

"Thank you!" Nikki punched his shoulder and skipped ahead of us. 

"I can't believe she's Candy's daughter." 

"I can't believe your dad married her." I laughed. 

"Ugh, don't remind me." Neil sighed, his arms dropping to his sides. 

"Why didn't you and Nikki ride together?"

"I live with my mom, Nikki lives with my dad and her mom."

"Who's technically your mom too." We sat down at the table Nikki had chosen. 

"Sadly, yes."

"You guys talking about my mom?" She shoveled food into her mouth, not stopping to speak. 

I nodded, taking out my pocket knife and making a new marking in the already screwed up wood. 

"Really, Max. Still vandalizing." Neil complained.

I scoffed. "I'm stabbing the table, not drawing dicks on the side of the building." 

"Language, Max!" David chimed in, taking a seat across from us. 

"David, we all know what a fucking dick is." I kept digging the blade into the table despite his presence.

"Max." He warned. Even when scolding me he still sounded filled with joy. "We shouldn't discuss such things at the table." 

"What?" I slammed the knife down and leaned in. "What shouldn't we discuss?"

His eyes widened. "What you were just saying."

"Say it, David." I moved in even closer. Our noses were almost touching. "Say dicks. Penises. Cocks."

He had no response. I could see how uncomfortable he was, but I kept there for long enough to worsen it significantly. 

I leaned back, resuming my original position. I smiled and gave him the camp hand signal. "Campe Diem, Davey."

Completely ignoring our previous exchange, he beamed. "Oh, Max! You remember!" 

"What?! Did you just miss everything that I just did?!"

He brought the hand sign to his ear and grinned a toothy grin. "Enjoy the meal campers!" He stood up and walked off. 

"What. The. Fuck." I can't believe him.

"I know! Max, chill out!" Neil scolded in a hushed tone. 

"Hey dudes." Ered sat down where David was only seconds before. "It's cool to see you again."

Nikki's eyes lit up. "Hey Ered!" 

"Hello Meredith." I greeted in my usual neutral tone. Ered had embraced her natural wavy blonde hair and gotten rid of the streaks she used to have, leaving her with really nice long simple hair. She had a septum piercing, along with an eyebrow piercing, both simple silver hoops and nothing extravagant. Describing her boho outfit would ruin its charm, but hippie is the only word that can do it justice. I guess she's no longer an edgy teen. Now she's an enlightened stoner.

Dolph sat down next to her. Holy shit. I guess he lost the hitler look and adapted a highschool drop out style. His hair was shaggy, he had stubble, and tired eyes. He had a Tan hoodie on with skinny black jeans and black shoes. Maybe he took Ered's edge. "Hello everyone!" He smiled. Despite his new look, he was the same dopey german with the same dopey accent. Was he even german? Was it offensive to call it a dopey accent?

"Hey Dolph, do you still paint?" Neil asked. 

He shook his head enthusiastically. "I am still my artsy self." He dug through his pocket and pulled out his phone. He showed us photos of his art. I hate to admit it, but the little nazi had talent. He told us about the art shows he was going to go to with Ered this summer, but then they heard about the camp and decided this was what they wanted to do. 

"We didn't even realize that we went to the same school until two years after everyone stopped going to camp." Ered explained. "And then we started hanging out more,"

"And I discovered she was my muse." 

I could feel the vile rise in my throat. Yuck. I'm deathly allergic to healthy relationships. And his accent didn't make it any easier to stomach.

Ered smiled shyly, before looking over at me, then to Neil, then to Nikki in one swift motion. "Why did everyone stop going to camp?" 

"Our parents pulled us so we could figure out the whole step parent thing, and then we just never came back. I guess we got busy." Neil explained, earning a 'yup!' from Nikki.

"What about you, Max?" Dolph asked. 

"Parents stopped feeling like paying for it." I shrugged.

"Is that it?" Nikki chewed on the end of her plastic spork.

"I guess. That's all they told me, at least."

We left it at that. Ignoring the subject, they all made small talk while I carved our names into the table. Just some proof that we own Camp Campbell's ass. 

"Okay Campers! Lets start our first day's activity!" David clasped his hands together like a sweet old lady as he tried to get our attention. He led everyone outside and to the middle of the clearing. I shoved my hands in my pockets and looked around. Wow. These makeshift camps were so small and run down. I guess when I was ten they seemed a lot bigger and better. I mean, I knew it was shit but only now could I really see it.   
"Today we'll be doing a little bit of an ice-breaker activity, just so we can get a little more comfortable with each other!" 

Does he realize that almost all of us know everyone here? He started to break us of into groups, handing one person in the group a slip of paper. And of course he handed it to me.   
"What is your favorite breed of puppy?" I read, my brows furrowed. "What the fuck..."

"Ooo! German Shepherd!" Dolph yelled with a smile. Does.. does he not know he's doing it. I ignored him and asked the next question.

"If you could only eat chocolate for the next seven years would you want to eat milk or dark?" David what the hell. At least the puppy one was reasonable. 

"I'm lactose intolerant." One of the kids said. He had a party hat on his head and a sweater tied around his neck.

"So, dark then?" Neil assumed.

He shook his head. "Milk Chocolate. I like the pain." 

Everyone stared at him. I cleared my throat and brought the paper into view. "Next question. Favorite scent of hand soap?" 

"Lemon all the way, I swear to god." Neil looked like lemon scented soap gave him intense pleasure. "Everything else is just overpowering."

"Why would you want your hands smelling of industrial cleaner?" The kid next to milk chocolate boy asked, not the only one creeped out by Neil's soap confession.

"You can judge me when you're over 5 foot, kid." 

I stifled a laugh and read the final question. "What's your zodiac sign?" Finally, a reasonable question. "Nikki's a taurus." 

"Why do you know that?" Milk Chocolate boy asked.

I shrugged. Everyone started answering the question which led to new questions that weren't on the sheet. I tuned out. I already knew Neil, and had no interest in learning about toddlers or Dolph, so there was no point in listening. I looked around. Nerf, Ered, and two kids (both eating crayons). Nikki, Nerris, Harrison, and a kid missing the majority of his teeth. Space Kid, Preston, and a girl with a naruto headband on.   
"Hey Neil, look who it is." I pointed to Space Kid. "Other Neil."  
I could visually see his heart skip a beat. He gulped and kept staring. Space Kid did get pretty hot. He had a jawline now, but that's all I really noticed. I guess Neil saw more. "Earth to Neil." I waved my hand in front of his face. 

"I'm not in the mood for space puns." He swatted at my hand.

I groaned. "Why are both of my friends falling fucking head over heels for people they hated eight years ago." 

"Nerris and Nikki didn't hate each other. They just never interacted." He corrected, not breaking his gaze.

"This is gay, I'm out." I stood up and made my way to Nikki's group, not making eye contact with anyone but her. "Hey Nikki, wanna split?" 

"Split what?" 

I took her hand and helped her up. "So," we started walking towards the lake. "why Nerris?"

"Whaddayamean?" 

"You know exactly what I mean."

She giggled. "She's nice." 

"I can't believe you two."

We sat down on the dock. "Neil likes Nerris too!?"

"No! God, no."

"Then who is he into?" She titled her head like a confused puppy.

"Space kid."

"Wow, that's stupid."

"Exactly!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up. Nikki started talking about how big her school is, and how many friends she has. I couldn't help but lose focus. David was walking around, checking on the groups. Gwen was doing the same but I wasn't focused on her. He was smiling at Milk Chocolate boy and probably talking about how much he loves the smell of pine trees. What an idiot.   
"Hey Nikki." I cut her off mid sentence. "How much would you pay me if I seduced David before the summer ended?" 

"Hmm." She looked across the lake in thought before turning to face me. "A hundred bucks! I just had my quinces, so I'm basically rich." 

"Aren't you seventeen? And white?"

She shrugged. 

I shrugged.

We collectively shrugged. 

"Deal?" I stuck out my hand.

She spit on her palm. "Deal!" 

I took away my hand before she could shake. "Fucking gross, Nikki." 

We shook pinkies instead. 

"Hey guys. I left MC and the other kid with Dolph." Neil sat down next to me, swinging his legs over the water. 

"Who's MC?" Nikki asked.

"Milk Chocolate boy. I haven't said his full name before but I figured it would get old soon."

I nodded. 

"Neil, how much are you gonna give Max?" She edged closer to the dock's end. Probably trying to stick her shoe in the lake but she's so damn short.

"What?"

"How much money?"

"Still, what?"

She groaned. "I'm giving Max a hundred dollars if he can seduce David before camp ends. How much are you giving?"

"Um, none? Toying with peoples emotions is dangerous and morally wrong." 

"God, I already called you a pussy today, but I'm saying it again. You're a pussy, Neil."

Nikki giggled. "Yeah Neil! It's only kidnapping!"

I whipped around to face her. "Kidnapping?!"

"Yeah! Like you said!" 

"I think you somehow mixed seduce with abduct, Nikki." Neil corrected.

"Yeah. That makes sense." She splashed her foot in the water. "What does seduce mean?"

"Max is going to try to get David to fall for him. Romantically or sexually, since David already has a friend-boner for Max." 

Neil's dumbed down explanation cleared everything up for her. "That's even better! I'm paying a hundred and a penny!" She smiled widely, her bright braces blinding me.

"Although a penny makes literally no difference, I appreciate the gesture." I said. 

"I'm giving only a dime." Neil decided, crossing his arms. God, why is he always such a little bitch. We're just having some fun. It's not like I want David to want me. I'm pretty much over that. It's like only 5% of me that even thinks he's better alive than dead. And even if there was something deeper, I'm the fucking master of repressing emotions. That's basically how I got through middle school. 

"Well, tomorrow we're swimming so I'm sure that'll be a great opportunity for your fucked up game." Neil informed.  
I know that he thinks it'll be entertaining. If he didn't, he wouldn't have told us that.   
He stood up and walked back to his questionnaire group. Can't believe that activity is taking so long. 

"Do you think David has a piss kink? Maybe a foot fetish?" Nikki asked.

I shrugged. "Paint my toe nails and buy me a soda. We can find out."


	3. Chapter 3

"Max! Max!" Nikki shook me into consciousness.

"Fuck, what?" I mumbled, my eyes adjusting to the light.

"You slept in!"

"Yeah, no shit." 

"Ugh." She dragged out the h for painfully long and stood up. She was in pokémon board shorts and a bikini top. "Did you forget the mission already?"

Oh right. The mission.

"I swear, I'm the only person here devoted to anything." She threw my bag at me.

"What are you devoted to?" I sat up and unzipped the bag. 

Her smile dropped and she stared at me with an expressionless face. "The suffering of others." 

"Oh."

She regained her grin and skipped off. 

She scares the shit out of me sometimes, I swear. I groggily got out of bed and into a black shirt and some walmart swim trunks my grandmother bought me last year. They were blue, and that was about it. I stepped outside. Jesus, can the sun chill out for a second? The extreme transition to the bright outdoors made me loose my composure. But I regained my balance and found Neil. He was sitting on the Deck, his arms crossed over his chest. 

"I'm not getting worms from this lake. I don't care if it's one of the last camp campbell swims I'll get, I don't want water aids." He announced defiantly.

"Don't you already have aids?" I pressed my hands flatly against his shoulder blades and pushed. He fell into the water without warning.

He flailed and desperately tried to climb back onto the dock. "Max! Aids! Help!" 

David ran over as quickly as possible, which was pretty quick thanks to those giraffe legs. "Neil! Grab my hand!" God, i'm witnessing a lifeguard love novel. He pulled him onto the wood and gave him a pat on the back. "Try not to be so clumsy, Neil!" 

"Clumsy?! Max pushed me!" He exclaimed, punching me in the calf.

"Did you see that, David! He assaulted me! Right in the leg!" I tried to push him in again, but David stepped between us. 

"Now, now kids. Fighting is no fun!" 

"Kids? You're like thirty, not eighty." I scoffed. 

"Max, can you help the younger campers in the lake? I remember you used to love swimming!" He smiled, placing his hand on my shoulder. 

I hated swimming, actually. But I liked shoving kids under water and having chicken fights. I was about to correct him on this enormous misunderstanding, but it's too good of an opportunity. "Sure, Davey."

"Neil, what about you?" 

Neil shook his head violently, getting water on us. 

"Suit yourself, ass-hat." Before David could lecture me on language, I took off my shirt. I tried to copy what I've seen in porn, and dropped it to my side. I didn't get to see his reaction because my shirt was in my eyes. I'll ask Neil later. I ran a hand through my hair and looked David in the eye. "You coming in?" As cheesy as it felt, I didn't think I looked too stupid. I made sure that I had on my usual 'I' dead inside' face, just in case I was over doing it. But it's not like I'm seeing these people after this summer. That's probably what I said eight years ago, too.

He took a second to reply. (I hope I'm to blame) "Maybe later." He put on a smile and walked over to Gwen. 

"You're pathetic." Neil chuckled from below me. 

"Shut up, Lake Aids. Did it work?" 

He sighed. "I hate to say it, but he did look a little surprised."

"Yes!"

"I said a little! A little, Max, a little!" 

I cannonballed into the lake, 'accidentally' getting Neil wet. I swam towards Nikki. She had found a giant rock to sit on.

"Greeting Max. 'Tis I, Queen of the mermaids." She used a stick to pat me on the head. 

One of the crayon kids bowed down to her. 

I pushed him away from the rock and took his place. "Why're you queen of the mermaids?"

"Whoever has the rock has the power, duh."

"Really?"

She nodded, resuming her royal position. 

I shoved her off of the rock and took her place.

"Tyrant!" She yelled from below, throwing her stick at me. 

"Suck it, I'm the mermaid queen now!" I hit her with the stick.

"Well, can't argue with that." She followed the crayon kids movement. "All hail Max! Queen of the mermaids!"

I smirked, basking in the light. This felt unreal in a way. Here I am. Soaking wet and sitting on a rock with a crayon-eating ten year old and my childhood best friend. "Suck my dick unicorns, I'm bringing mermaids back."

"They never left!" Nikki corrected.

I threw the stick at her. "Not right!" 

She dodged it, giggling. "I'm a minority stop trying to kill me!"

"Nikki you're white!" As I started to explain what a minority actually was she pulled me down into the water. 

"I will reclaim the throne!" She screamed, right into my ear. 

"Never!" We splashed and fought and yelled. Crayon kid started crying and swam away as fast as he could. It wasn't very fast. Guess crayons aren't a good source of energy. 

We stopped fighting after awhile, both of us sitting on the rock. We had both gotten stronger in the eight years we've spent apart.   
"Nikki, do you work out or something?"

She shook her head, a dopey smile still worn. "Football and track!"

I nodded, my mouth making an 'o' shape. "Yeah that makes sense." 

"That's how I made my friends. You really seem to bond with people after you've seen them crying and drowning in sweat." 

"Fair enough." I chuckled. 

"What do you do, Max?" 

"Nothing that made me any friends." 

"No clubs, or anything?" I could hear the sympathy in her voice. God, I'm such a bummer.

"Nope." The conversation stopped. I guess I'm not as conservable as I used to be. Not that I even remember. I doubt I'll remember this, either. My stupid static brain is all fuzzy. I've got a head full of cotton with no room for memories. I've repressed a lot of memories without trying to. This ones probably already been mentally labeled "throw out ASAP." I don't blame you, cotton head. I wish I could forget this tension already. "Well, I'm going to go take a piss in the woods and contemplate my own existence." I hopped off and swam to the dock. 

"Where are you going?" Neil asked. Wow he was still there? 

"Take a wazz."

"Gross, why do you talk so crudely."

"You fucking asked, dipshit." I ignored him and made my way to the woods. I walked for a while. But eventually that got boring, so I sat down. I watched the grass. With every gust of wind they bent back and forth. They danced, even. The sun hit them through the gaps in the leaves above me.   
I breathed deep, bringing my knees to my chest and holding them close.   
I shut my eyes.   
I shut my eyes, and just breathed.   
In and out. 

•••••

I had managed to doze off. The blades of grass I had stared at earlier were crushed by my legs, and the sunlight was replaced by moonlight. Wow. How tired was I? I don't really sleep too much. I stood up, brushing myself off. I tried to get the dirt and grass off of me but it wasn't as easy as expected. I started walking back to camp. Why did I think this was a good idea? I'm so fucking stupid. Everyone knows it, too. They'd be better off without me. All I seem to be is a burden. 

"Welcome back, Max!" David grinned at me. "I was just about to go looking for you!" 

Ugh, I didn't want this at all. Can't I just disappear without people getting worried? "I accidentally fell asleep. My bad." 

He looked concerned. Or maybe Shocked? "It's okay. We were just worried."

"Whatever." I guess he's never heard me apologize. "Where is everyone?" 

"We installed a projector last year!" We're watching a movie!"

"Evil Dead."

"Excuse me?"

"You should watch Evil Dead. It's a wonderful kid's film. Just make sure it's the original."

"Awe, thank you for you suggestion! I'll see if we can arrange that." He patted me on the back and led me to where they were watching. 

It was kind of really lame. It was a bedsheet stapled to some trees so the wind wouldn't shake it too badly. They were watching The Iron Giant. Shit. Okay. Not a big deal. I sat down next to Neil and Nikki.

"Hey Max!" She greeted, throwing me a blanket.

I swallowed and wrapped myself in it. This is nothing. I have way worse triggers than the fucking Iron Giant. It's not like anything too bad happened during this movie. I was seven, I shouldn't even remember. But I do remember. I remember the exact isle we were in. The theater's name. The feeling of his hand on my thigh and the scent of vodka on his warm breath. 

I closed my eyes, squeezing the blanket shut around my body. I leaned my head on Neil's shoulder and he didn't fight it. Thank god, he didn't fight it. I can't deal with that right now. I did my breathing exercises that the internet told me were good and mentally got my white paint bucket. The chalkboard I envisioned was black. Pure and piercing black. I dipped my brush into the bucket, white droplets falling from it's bristles. I swiped it across. I continued to paint, and paint, and paint. I made sure the board was entirely white. Any black spots had to be covered. Once my board was white, so was my head. I tried so hard to stop thinking. Why? Why did this have to happen twice today? Why do I have this mentality that once a day has one little fuck up its entirely ruined? Why can't i just resolve issues instead of dwelling on them and overthinking. I obsess over every detail. I feel like I'm constantly feverish, but I can't sweat it out. 

"Don't fall asleep again, Max. The movies almost over." Neil shook me a little. "It's much more comfortable in the tent than on the grass." 

I took his advice and waited it to be finished. But once we got to our tent, I passed the fuck out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for such a rollercoaster of shit. As someone with CPTSD i like to project onto max, although i made him have it from an entirely different form of truama.   
> i probably shouldn't have dumped it all in one short chapter but yesterday i got triggered really hard and slept from one in the afternoons to twelve at night and just needed to vent in a way. if you want to understand CPTSD more so you can read the story with a little background, the tumblr tag for CPTSD is full of things that will explain. And the wiki has an accurate list of symptoms. Sorry for this lmao


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